Monday, October 30, 2006


I was just watching a buzzard gliding in a column of air. It only flapped its wings once or twice before it caught the updraft and then it just floated around and around in a circle until it was just a speck in the sky. Buzzards are ugly birds when you view them up close and I have heard they can smell the rotten carnage they love so much for 40 miles away. But I saw only beauty in this enormous bird as it circled high above the earth. The bird allowed itself to be carried along, not fighting against the current but adjusting only the arch of the wings to better catch the draft. I cannot pretend to know whether the bird had an agenda, a destination, a place to be. I don't know if it felt frantic when the draft took it right instead of left, it seemed not to care. I do know that its beauty came from the glide, the effortless movement, and the peace it exuded as it circled up and up. Today is the beginning of my eighth year with Tim. I had intended to write the story of how we met, how I felt, to try and recapture my appreciation for what originally brought us together. Then I watched the buzzard. Up close, lately, our relationship has been ugly. Rotten carnage lies between us in hateful words and resentful feelings. So instead of a halloversery story, I have a halloversery wish. I wish for a long, slow glide up, not fighting against the current but rather allowing the updraft to carry us away from the carnage we have created in our world. I wish for appreciation of the journey that we travel together rather than a frantic race to an unknown destination. But most of all I wish to take Tim's hand and circle up and up until we are far above our cares and we can glide in blissful peace. Happy Halloversary Tim. I love you, Yvette