Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Things I hate about blogs

1. another thing I feel obligated to do.
2. blogs you can't escape from (the ones with no next blog button.

Seriously though, I have been doing a major amount of blog browsing. I have run onto a lot of interesting and excellent writers and a lot of just plain crap. Oh yeah, and lest I forget the advertising. I did leave some desparate plea on a lady's blog because she sounded like someone I could talk to on a day I was desparate to talk to anyone that didn't drink from a baby bottle. I had to work 3 12 hour shifts in a row, and the first day with the babe was pure hell. I think that when she is at Grandma's she gets way more attention than I can give her here. I give her plenty but I also think there is some value in amusing yourself while Mommy grabs some sanity. I just thought of one.

3. forgeting to add a really clever blog to your favorites and losing it.

This parenting thing is hard on me. I have been wound up tight since the babe arrived. It has made me a hateful person. I can't seem to relax. When I allow myself to feel, it is like something is sitting on my shoulders twisting a band around my head. I learned today that much of my problems are created by what I think other people are thinking about what I am doing. It is MY perception problem and it is causing me to lose my mind. Living with a reflective sign like Tim actually compounds the problem. Here is how it goes. The babe is fussing because she has not learned how to sooth herself to sleep. Somehow I decide I am not a good mother. Then Tim comes home and I think he thinks I am not a good mother because the babe is unhappy. Being reflective, he picks up on my feelings and being true to his nature reflects back to me and says something like "Perhaps you should pick her up." Now I really think he thinks I'm a bad mother. So now I'm mad. I am such a control freak. I now have to control what he reflects back to me. See! I am losing my mind. (sigh) Maybe I am just tired. Think I will go to bed.

Before I forget, today is Bella-Dawn Marie's 4 month birthday. Happy birthday to my miracle baby.

I love you all, Yvette


Ilene said...

Let me see. Your latest post was dated March 30, therefore I believe that makes the Babe 4 months and 1 day????? Have you checked my blog lately dear daughter? You can always go to the next blog site on it also, just in case there is no next blog on yours and you are totally out of something to drive yourself crazy about! Do me a favor and give her and yourself a big hug for me. Do you tell her about her Nana? I love you, Mama

Alicia Bennett said...

Hi there, I was surfing the internet and I found your blog. I enjoy the style of how this all works.

I'll be coming back again.